We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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