Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
