no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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