We're like a lot better than the average bears
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
