Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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