no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
