They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I want a musical about memes.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
