she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
