Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize