Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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