Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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