Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
