doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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