OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
