What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Text me some of your sweat
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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