Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
