He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
