Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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