What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize