I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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