I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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