Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
