I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
