I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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