Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
