One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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