I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
