How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Randomize
