david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
