i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Randomize