Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
