4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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