nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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