Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
