never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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