I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
