Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
