dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
