I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
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