Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
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