Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Apparently you make a good broom.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Randomize
