I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Im part way to drunk.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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