the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
