return my video game
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
