so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
