i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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