also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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