didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
