so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
