Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I touched a dick in church today
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
