Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
