Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
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