I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
