He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
